Wednesday, July 15, 2009

The Facebook Experience

My plan to stay off the computer has been a failure. I am addicted. I have tried to limit some things but just added others, so the time factor is the same. Is there a twelve step program that addresses fabric addiction along with computer over use out there?

My kids are big Facebook, Twitter users, something I resisted for a long time. Sharing every thought I have with the entire world was a concept that I did not warm up to easily. Then the Momma (DD) mentioned how she had hooked up with several of the folks she graduated from school with, and how fun it was to reconnect with them. I have been a member of Classmates.com for awhile but still thought this would be a great way to see if I could make contact with some friends from High School.

I joined Facebook and found a friendly face........our own beloved Amelia was one of the first to ask me to be her friend. I did find my graduating class although I was disappointed that there were not many names listed. Then I figured out that looking at the friends of classmates might lead me to someone that I knew. That worked wonderfully and I made contact with one of my best buddies. We exchanged information about our kids and where we lived. I was on a roll.

When you live in a small town all your life, even when you leave, you hear about people you grew up with. I read the local newspaper on line and have run across obits for former classmates, not a fun experience at all. There was one guy on the class list that had not grown up there, he had moved to town in our Senior year. I remembered him as being a really nice fellow and had often wondered what became of him. So I contacted him. He had NO clue who I was and that was apparent from the very beginning. He sent me his information, he lives in Washington D.C. and looks quite successful. I sent some of my information, but he never commented on it so figured he was not interested and was ready to move on. A comment about the summer after graduation brought a long message from him telling me his story. Two tours of Vietnam, three wives and a long affair with the booze bottle took us to 1985 when he became sober and straighted out his life. We talked about that........not once did he ask or comment on what I had been doing since 1965. Finally I decided that this was a one sided conversation that I did not have time for and wished him luck and that was that. So I have found one good friend, one high school buddy and one guy whose name was on the list.

I then made contact with another classmate, had good conversation with her about her family and life after school. Hey, this was fun.

About this time, the great white hunter son #2 asks me to be his Facebook friend. Now I didn't expect for my children to want me to have access to their private lives this way, but I said fine. That opened two more doors that had been closed for many years.

First was tgwhunter son #2's high school girlfriend. This girl and I had hit it off from the very beginning. There were times when I think she came to our house to see the family as much as to see my son. If he was working, she would call or just pop in. I jokingly called her my "other daughter" and she called me "Mom". When they broke up, she and I cried. She asked if she could still come to the house or could we at least meet now and then. I had divided feelings, I didn't want to lose someone that I cared about but our house was my son's home. I told him what she asked and he begged me to tell her no. So, I did and have not seen or heard from her in 20 years.

She made contact with him through Facebook last fall and found me on his page. My "other daughter" wasted no time in contacting "Mom". She is divorced and has two lovely boys. We have chatted a couple of times. She is headed to AZ to visit her family and told me she will be on my doorstep with her boys and we will do lunch or something like we used to do. This is a blessing I never expected.

Another one of tgwhunter son# 2's friends contacted me. This was a young man who was around our house a lot. His girl friend lived in the neighborhood and was in and out of the house all the time. When they married and had a son, they proudly brought him to our house. I remember sitting on the floor holding that baby. But as often happens, life takes over and people move on. I hadn't heard much about either of them for years.

Today, I got a long message from him. He and the girl friend divorced, he remarried and that fell apart. He wanted a mother to listen to him and console him.........and he chose me. I had to tell him that I am not the one he needs now. Mostly because he was feeling so sorry for himself and all that the world had done to him. My children could tell him that doesn't work with this Mom. If I chose to be his substitute Mother, I would tell him that he needed to look at his actions and ask what he did to get himself to this place, to grow up and take responsibility and then try and fix his life. I know that is not what he want to hear from me, so it is best he look else where.

So far this Facebook thing has been interesting to say the very least. Things seem to have calmed down for now. I might not find anymore "friends" and that will be fine. It has been a lot like life, pros and cons and more than one way to look at things.

This Internet thing is amazing.

8 comments:

Amelia said...

Facebook is an experience! My daughter told me to go ahead with it and I could be a "friend" to her. Finding some of the people from church on it too. Must admit some of the things posted by some of them are absolutely what I would consider out of character...maybe I just don't know them.

Just think we are adding more knowledge to our list of tech things we can do.

Sheila said...

What a neat story of your experience. I've resisted joining any other internet thing that sucks more time from my day, but your post prompted me to go look for people who were near and dear to me. Glad to see you posting sometimes. Sheila in Ohio

Teresa said...

I have a facebook account but never use it. It amazes me how me invitations I get to be friends with my children's friends. I also seem to be getting quite a few requests from my own friends as well these days and it always surprises me the friend is into this face book thing. LOL..I could not even tell you how to pull up my own facebook account.

QuiltingFitzy said...

um...me 2

check your email

8^)

Granny Lyn said...

I got an account, to, because I am getting more involved with Children's Cancer Awareness, but I don't know how towork the darn thing, and I get invitations to be frends with people, so I click on accept,,,,then I don't know wht to do next...tee hee, I guess I just haven't "played" with it enough. My grandson sent me pics of him and his girlfriend,,,that was good, but what do I do now?

you know me, tech-impaired...

Katie said...

If Granny Lyn can't figure it out, I wouldn't have a change. Glad you are having fun. I sent my e-mail address to my 50th class reunion but got no takers. Guess it has just been too long.

Sue said...

Great story! Yes, computering is addictive...I almost forgot about my blog because I've been building myspaces. I am not friends on Facebook with my former step-daughter whom I haven't seen in 20 years.

SueR said...

Wow, what good stories about your travels on Facebook today! I've resisted too and have NO plans to get into Facebook or Twitter. Already spend enough time on the computer. Besides, I think I'm content to let my past stay in the past.