Reflections

My friend from high school left this morning. We had a great visit. We talked until both of us were tired of talking! There was lots of "remember when?" and "what ever happened to?" Then we talked about what our life had been this past 40 some years. We covered it all, the joys, the disappointments and misery plus what we wanted the rest of our lives to encompass. We groused about the health issues of aging and the expectations of retired life. You name it, it was on the agenda at my house. When the great white hunter asked her if there was something special that she wanted to do or see, her reply was, "I came here to reconnect with the two of you, not to sight see." We did reconnect, maybe in a way I have never reconnected with anyone ever before. We had time to just sit and talk about everything at length.

Our lives took really different turns. I married early, had children early and that has been my life. She went to college, married, divorced, remarried and divorced again. She has no children but has had a successful career that she just retired from a few months ago. She is fiercely independent, successful in a male dominated field with few responsibilities now that she is not working.

After she left today, I have felt rather punchy. The insecurity that I felt all through high school about who I was and what people thought of me, came rising back to the surface after 40 some years. I wondered how my life measured up. Then later this evening, I realized, it doesn't matter. What matters is NORMA is happy with the turns her life took. NORMA is happy with her job as a full time wife, mother and Nana. How other people look at me now, my life or what I have accomplished doesn't matter at all. If I had it to do over, I would not have done it any different. There are things I would have done SMARTER, but still done the same.

Getting old is not fun some days, but being able to be comfortable in your own skin is a great benefit of age. As Popeye used to say, "I am what I am" or something like that!